The first luxury piece I ever bought myself was a pair of Christian Dior heels.
It was 2008. I had started a new job that July, and that December I flew to London to celebrate.
I bought the heels partly to wear to work, but they were also a reward: something special to mark a new chapter in my life.
I was SO happy with those shoes.
And I was proud of them.
I still have them today. When I look at those heels, I remember exactly when I bought them and why.
That is probably why my luxury pieces have never felt like just things to me.
They are little markers of my life.
But I didn’t always feel comfortable showing them
There is another part of that memory that I look at very differently now.
Someone made a comment about how much I had spent.
And I allowed that comment to make me feel bad about something I had been so happy and proud to buy. I even started hiding things like that.
Looking back, I hate that I allowed somebody else’s opinion to take a little of the happiness out of something that meant so much to me.
But perhaps I simply wasn’t that confident in myself yet. I was younger, and I cared more about what people thought.
Over the years, I became more confident in myself and in my abilities. And the more confident I became, the less I cared about other people’s opinions of the choices I made for myself.
We all spend differently
Something you would never spend money on might be exactly what somebody else chooses to enjoy.
And that is okay.
Your spending habits do not have to look like mine. Mine do not have to look like yours.
I understood this even more clearly years later, when a friend cried in front of me because somebody had criticised her for buying herself a luxury bag.
My immediate reaction was:
But it’s her money. She worked hard for it. What is wrong with rewarding herself?
Seeing how upset she was bothered me. Why should something she had been happy about suddenly make her feel bad because somebody else did not approve?
Perhaps by then I could see something for her that I had not been able to see for myself in 2008.
Someone else’s reaction does not have to become your guilt.
Their reaction may reflect their own relationship with money, their priorities and their experiences. I do not need to judge that.
But I do not need to carry it either.
Almost 18 years later…
I still have those Christian Dior heels.
The difference is that now, when I look at them, I do not remember them with embarrassment.
I am proud that I bought them.
Maybe I needed to get older and become more confident to realise something that seems very simple to me now:
Other people can have their spending habits.
I have mine.
And I do not need to feel bad about the things that bring me joy simply because somebody else would not make the same choice.
Love yourself enough to enjoy life.